As some of you recall, I tried the Dutch dating site Pepper.nl a while ago - and I was not impressed.
Well, Pepper.nl manages to disappoint even after you unsubscribe.
I got a message from them that they had been hacked by a hacker group named AntiSec, which had published the members account names, e-mail addresses and passwords.
Pepper did a lot of things wrong, and did one thing right.
1. I told them I wanted to get off, and all my data deleted. Since they sent me an e-mail I am still in their system.
2. They store passwords encrypted but not salted. What does that mean? It means that everybody who knows how the passwords were encrypted, only needs to encrypt a dictionary. Then, comparing the encryptions from the dictionary to the encryptions from the list, you can simply look up what the original password was. (Like looking for an address in a phone-book, by comparing the phone number - only, you can do it automated these days which makes it easy).
"Salting" means that a few extra characters get added to the password before encrypting, to prevent exactly this kind of attack.
According to AntiSec, Pepper did not even bother with this standard precaution!
3. One reason I quit Pepper was that I constantly failed to log in; and they cited "security problems". This makes it extra ironic that their security turns out to be so poor.
4. They did one thing right - they informed their members. Now, I could argue that they had no choice, and that they had been exposed too much already. But I don't want to be that vindictive - I am giving them the benefit of doubt.
Since it was a while ago that I was on Pepper, I don't even remember which password I used there... so to be on the safe side I have to change several ones. Thank you very much, Pepper.nl, for NOT deleting my data when you bumblers had to!
As a bonus, it proves that Pepper's membership count includes people who have long since unsubscribed. Like me. (Is anybody surprised about this....?)
All in all, Pepper should just leave the online dating business. They are not capable of it.
Update on July 4, 20.21: The timestamp on the e-mail I received yesterday is after 15.30. The hack was published on WebWereld.nl, a major Dutch IT news site, before 14.10 the same day. 14.10 was the time at which WebWereld added Pepper's comments to their article. So Pepper did indeed send the mail because they were forced to. Moreover, it seems that talking to the press was more important than warning the members. For shame!
Resources: the article on WebWereld.nl
zondag 3 juli 2011
dinsdag 14 juni 2011
Viva undercover in online-dating-land
[Since today's post is about an article in a Dutch magazine, I will for once blog in Dutch instead of English. A translated version will follow later]
Kranten en tijdschriften die artikelen schrijven over online dating, bekijk ik doorgaans met grote argwaan. Mijn ervaring met dit soort artikelen is dat ze weinig meer zijn dan slecht verklapte reclame voor deze of gene datingsite. Een CEO of woordvoerder mag vertellen hoe geweldig online dating is, waarna de journalist om kritisch te lijken nog even informeert of er ook nadelen zijn. De geinterviewde vertegenwoordiger kan dan het standaard verhaaltje afdraaien dat je moet oppassen voor oplichters - een verhaal dat je op elke site kan vinden, en dat iedereen met een greintje gezond verstand zelf ook wel kan bedenken.
Echt kritische vragen, over bijvoorbeeld de opgeblazen ledentallen, de rechtszaken over dode profielen of de dubieuze billing-praktijken worden nooit gesteld. Dat wil zo'n krant of tijdschrift ook niet: de sites die worden besproken zijn bijna altijd betalende adverteerders, en wie gaat er nu de producten of diensten van z'n eigen adverteerders afkraken?
Dus toen de Viva lawaai begon te maken dat ze een artikel hadden geplaatst over online dating, was ik niet erg onder de indruk en dat liet ik ook weten. Daar zou het bij gebleven zijn, als ik naar aanleiding hiervan niet in discussie was geraakt met de schrijfster van het artikel, mevrouw Mijke Pol. Naar aanleiding van mijn Twitter-gesprek met haar besloot ik het artikel een kans te geven.
En ik moet mevrouw Pol nageven dat haar artikel opmerkelijk kritisch is!
In het artikel beschrijft ze hoe ze, met een foto van iemand anders, een fake-profiel aanmaakte op Pepper.nl en Relatieplanet.nl.
Over Pepper schrijft ze sluw: "onlangs gelanceerd door RTL die beweert als eerste site in Nederland echt te matchen met de behoeftes van de online dater". (Nadruk door mij, niet door mevrouw Pol).
Blijkbaar heeft ze in de gaten dat de beweringen van Pepper dubieus zijn. In elk geval valt Pepper door de mand als het gaat om nep-profielen. "Een woordvoerder van datingsite Pepper vertelt dat ze er alles aan doet om nepprofielen tot een minimum te beperken. Maar hoe kan het dan dat ik nog steeds onder een valse identiteit kan opereren?" Pepper antwoordt hierop dat ze een team hebben dat handmatig alle profielen checkt.
Maar een in 10 minuten samengesteld fake-profiel kan er dus rustig een maand of langer blijven staan...
Voor de nadelen van online dating gaat ze niet naar de sites zelf, maar naar de Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit. Uit het artikel: "De Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit registreren de klachten over datingsites. Saskia Bierling van de Consumentenautoriteit vertelt dat het dan vooral om stilzwijgende verlenging van contracten gaat".
In het artikel klinkt dat niet heel spannend; abonnementen worden wel vaker stilzwijgend verlengd. Ik zou het dan ook leuk hebben gevonden als mevrouw Pol onderzocht had hoe makkelijk of moeilijk het is om een betaald lidmaatschap op te zeggen. Ik vermoed dat de Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit daar wel een paar sappige verhalen over kunnen vertellen.
Ik zou er verder alleen aan willen toevoegen dat een lidmaatschap van een datingsite van nature tijdelijk zou moeten zijn, anders doet de site toch echt iets fout....
Tragi-komisch wordt het als mevrouw Pol bij Relatieplanet komt.
"Het is bekend dat op veel datingsites mannen en vrouwen zitten die niet uit zijn op een relatie, maar het medium gebruiken als gratis escort", schrijft ze. Als ze hierover praat met een woordvoerder van Relatieplanet, zegt deze: "Wij horen dat ook zo nu en dan. Ons advies is dan ook om duidelijk in je profiel aan te geven dat je daar niet op zit te wachten."
Ik moest het twee keer lezen voor ik het geloofde. Bij Relatieplanet moeten vrouwen maar duidelijk aangeven dat ze de site niet gebruiken als escort. Je zou verwachten dat een site waar je moet betalen om contact te maken, er zelf op toezag dat de dames met enig respect benaderd worden.
Het fabeltje dat de leden op betaalde datingsites serieuzer zouden zijn, wordt hier dus door Relatieplanet zelf naar de prullenbak verwezen. Maar het is ook niet in het belang van Relatieplanet om al te hitsige heren op de vingers te tikken; zolang ze betalen, blijft het geld binnenstromen. En waarschijnlijk heeft Relatieplanet heel wat meer betalende hitsige mannen dan serieus zoekende vrouwen.
Terugkerend naar mevrouw Pols artikel, sluit ze af met tips en waarschuwingen. Dat je goed de algemene voorwaarden van een datingsite moet doornemen, en op moet passen dat je niet meteen aan dure abonnementen vastzit. Dat heb ik nog niet eerder gezien in een artikel over online dating, tenminste niet in de papieren pers.
Intussen is het pijnlijk dat 2 bladzijden verder een paginagrote advertentie staat van Relatieplanet - je kan 3 maanden lid worden van Viva en Relatieplanet samen voor maar 30 euro.
De kleine lettertjes in de adverentie melden overigens dat dit abonnement is tot wederopzegging, dus na 3 maanden kan je alsnog de volledige rekening van 74,15 verwachten....
Kranten en tijdschriften die artikelen schrijven over online dating, bekijk ik doorgaans met grote argwaan. Mijn ervaring met dit soort artikelen is dat ze weinig meer zijn dan slecht verklapte reclame voor deze of gene datingsite. Een CEO of woordvoerder mag vertellen hoe geweldig online dating is, waarna de journalist om kritisch te lijken nog even informeert of er ook nadelen zijn. De geinterviewde vertegenwoordiger kan dan het standaard verhaaltje afdraaien dat je moet oppassen voor oplichters - een verhaal dat je op elke site kan vinden, en dat iedereen met een greintje gezond verstand zelf ook wel kan bedenken.
Echt kritische vragen, over bijvoorbeeld de opgeblazen ledentallen, de rechtszaken over dode profielen of de dubieuze billing-praktijken worden nooit gesteld. Dat wil zo'n krant of tijdschrift ook niet: de sites die worden besproken zijn bijna altijd betalende adverteerders, en wie gaat er nu de producten of diensten van z'n eigen adverteerders afkraken?
Dus toen de Viva lawaai begon te maken dat ze een artikel hadden geplaatst over online dating, was ik niet erg onder de indruk en dat liet ik ook weten. Daar zou het bij gebleven zijn, als ik naar aanleiding hiervan niet in discussie was geraakt met de schrijfster van het artikel, mevrouw Mijke Pol. Naar aanleiding van mijn Twitter-gesprek met haar besloot ik het artikel een kans te geven.
En ik moet mevrouw Pol nageven dat haar artikel opmerkelijk kritisch is!
In het artikel beschrijft ze hoe ze, met een foto van iemand anders, een fake-profiel aanmaakte op Pepper.nl en Relatieplanet.nl.
Over Pepper schrijft ze sluw: "onlangs gelanceerd door RTL die beweert als eerste site in Nederland echt te matchen met de behoeftes van de online dater". (Nadruk door mij, niet door mevrouw Pol).
Blijkbaar heeft ze in de gaten dat de beweringen van Pepper dubieus zijn. In elk geval valt Pepper door de mand als het gaat om nep-profielen. "Een woordvoerder van datingsite Pepper vertelt dat ze er alles aan doet om nepprofielen tot een minimum te beperken. Maar hoe kan het dan dat ik nog steeds onder een valse identiteit kan opereren?" Pepper antwoordt hierop dat ze een team hebben dat handmatig alle profielen checkt.
Maar een in 10 minuten samengesteld fake-profiel kan er dus rustig een maand of langer blijven staan...
Voor de nadelen van online dating gaat ze niet naar de sites zelf, maar naar de Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit. Uit het artikel: "De Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit registreren de klachten over datingsites. Saskia Bierling van de Consumentenautoriteit vertelt dat het dan vooral om stilzwijgende verlenging van contracten gaat".
In het artikel klinkt dat niet heel spannend; abonnementen worden wel vaker stilzwijgend verlengd. Ik zou het dan ook leuk hebben gevonden als mevrouw Pol onderzocht had hoe makkelijk of moeilijk het is om een betaald lidmaatschap op te zeggen. Ik vermoed dat de Consumentenbond en de Consumentenautoriteit daar wel een paar sappige verhalen over kunnen vertellen.
Ik zou er verder alleen aan willen toevoegen dat een lidmaatschap van een datingsite van nature tijdelijk zou moeten zijn, anders doet de site toch echt iets fout....
Tragi-komisch wordt het als mevrouw Pol bij Relatieplanet komt.
"Het is bekend dat op veel datingsites mannen en vrouwen zitten die niet uit zijn op een relatie, maar het medium gebruiken als gratis escort", schrijft ze. Als ze hierover praat met een woordvoerder van Relatieplanet, zegt deze: "Wij horen dat ook zo nu en dan. Ons advies is dan ook om duidelijk in je profiel aan te geven dat je daar niet op zit te wachten."
Ik moest het twee keer lezen voor ik het geloofde. Bij Relatieplanet moeten vrouwen maar duidelijk aangeven dat ze de site niet gebruiken als escort. Je zou verwachten dat een site waar je moet betalen om contact te maken, er zelf op toezag dat de dames met enig respect benaderd worden.
Het fabeltje dat de leden op betaalde datingsites serieuzer zouden zijn, wordt hier dus door Relatieplanet zelf naar de prullenbak verwezen. Maar het is ook niet in het belang van Relatieplanet om al te hitsige heren op de vingers te tikken; zolang ze betalen, blijft het geld binnenstromen. En waarschijnlijk heeft Relatieplanet heel wat meer betalende hitsige mannen dan serieus zoekende vrouwen.
Terugkerend naar mevrouw Pols artikel, sluit ze af met tips en waarschuwingen. Dat je goed de algemene voorwaarden van een datingsite moet doornemen, en op moet passen dat je niet meteen aan dure abonnementen vastzit. Dat heb ik nog niet eerder gezien in een artikel over online dating, tenminste niet in de papieren pers.
Intussen is het pijnlijk dat 2 bladzijden verder een paginagrote advertentie staat van Relatieplanet - je kan 3 maanden lid worden van Viva en Relatieplanet samen voor maar 30 euro.
De kleine lettertjes in de adverentie melden overigens dat dit abonnement is tot wederopzegging, dus na 3 maanden kan je alsnog de volledige rekening van 74,15 verwachten....
dinsdag 31 mei 2011
Phone Pudding
First steps in the wonderful world of smartphone dating apps
In my investigation of innovative dating services, I cannot overlook smartphone dating apps.
In theory, it could be beautiful: sign up, switch on GPS, let the phone determine where you are, and if there are any matches nearby - preferably people who share an interest.
No more time wasted writing endless messages to people who have left the site years ago. No more looking at photoshopped pictures. Simply walk up to another user and say "Excuse me, are you that girl who loves skiing?"
I wanted to try out simply one app and review it, but I haven't been able to investigate any one app in depth. So instead, I'll just discuss the ones that I've found.
The okCupid app
Since I'm already on okCupid, I figured this app might be worth a try. Unfortunately, the blurb on Android Market doesn't make clear what the advantage of the app is when you're already on the site.
It doesn't mention location-based services, for example. In fact, it seems that the only use for this app is to automatically log on to okCupid. I'm already growing tired of writing messages to people who don't respond, I really don't see the advantage in doing so on a Tinkerbell-sized keyboard.
MyYearbook
MyYearbook is a social network, but for some reason decided that it's app should be listed in the Android Market with "dating" as a tag.
I installed the app and tried to sign up. Things went well until it demanded my e-mail address - AND password.
That's right - I had not even signed up, and it already demanded my e-mail password. I couldn't sign up without supplying this information. I decided to give it a bogus password to see what would happen. myYearbook tried to access my e-mail, told me the password was wrong, and if I would be so kind as to provide the right password.
....and I thought Facebook was aggressive!
Needless to say, I removed this app from my phone.
The eHarmony app
eHarmony is a paid service. Having been bitten by match.com and lexa.nl in the past, I am wary of paid services. In general, only paying members can respond to your messages on these things, meaning that 9 times out of 10, you might as well write a message to your TV set. (It's actually less idiotic since, if you switch on the TV set, it will at least say something back...)
So I read the blurb carefully. It uses the word "FREE" (in capitals) a lot, but if you read between the lines, you find that it will not let members respond for "FREE"
The blurb informs you that it's "better than the dating apps for Skout, Zoosk, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish or Match.com" - thereby violating Dutch advertising law, which states that you can only directly attack a competitor if you can prove your claims. eHarmony suggests their psychological test is more important than profile pictures. Unfortunately, they also inform you that their psychological test has beenshortened optimized for smartphone users, who can take it in 10 minutes.
So what's going on? Apparently smartphone users get a dumbed-down version of the eHarmony test, so either their matching isn't as good as those who buy the original thing, or the matching algorithm isn't as sophisticated as we've always been told. But that casts the whole "better than those sites with profile pictures" in a very weird light.
...and it doesn't mention location-based services (GPS) either.
The app for eHarmony is "FREE", but it's utterly useless until you're a paying member of eHarmony. Until then, eHarmony gets to advertise itself on your phone for "FREE".
SinglesAroundMe
I was initially put off by this app, because the maker claimed that it "has taken the world by storm". Must have been a very quiet kind of storm then, I never even heard of this app until now.
But when I found that most dating apps fill their blurbs with self-aggrandizing drivel, I decided to give this one another look. Once I got past the usual blah-blah, I found that this one does use GPS. It even seems to have some users over here in the Netherlands.
It doesn't ask for all that many privileges, either - GPS, camera, a few more. I'm not quite sure why it wants the access to the camera, I guess it's so I can take a picture of myself for use with the app.
But this is one app I installed. Unfortunately, it is bug-ridden; most of the time, it tells me GPS isn't switched on, even though it is. This can sometimes be helped by killing the process in the Task Manager and re-starting it, but really... how user-friendly is that?
When I finally get through and log on, it tells me that logon fails because it "can't find www/login.htm" (or something like that).
I'll give this one a few more chances, but those bugs had better be fixed soon!
And finally...
On closing, there is one thing I'd like to say to the people who make smartphone dating apps:
I'm NOT interested in how "great" your app is. I'm NOT interested in your endless self-praise and your bad-mouthing the competition.
What I AM intersted in is: HOW does your app work, and HOW MANY members do you have in my country?
If you can't answer those two questions, you have no business writing dating apps.
In my investigation of innovative dating services, I cannot overlook smartphone dating apps.
In theory, it could be beautiful: sign up, switch on GPS, let the phone determine where you are, and if there are any matches nearby - preferably people who share an interest.
No more time wasted writing endless messages to people who have left the site years ago. No more looking at photoshopped pictures. Simply walk up to another user and say "Excuse me, are you that girl who loves skiing?"
I wanted to try out simply one app and review it, but I haven't been able to investigate any one app in depth. So instead, I'll just discuss the ones that I've found.
The okCupid app
Since I'm already on okCupid, I figured this app might be worth a try. Unfortunately, the blurb on Android Market doesn't make clear what the advantage of the app is when you're already on the site.
It doesn't mention location-based services, for example. In fact, it seems that the only use for this app is to automatically log on to okCupid. I'm already growing tired of writing messages to people who don't respond, I really don't see the advantage in doing so on a Tinkerbell-sized keyboard.
MyYearbook
MyYearbook is a social network, but for some reason decided that it's app should be listed in the Android Market with "dating" as a tag.
I installed the app and tried to sign up. Things went well until it demanded my e-mail address - AND password.
That's right - I had not even signed up, and it already demanded my e-mail password. I couldn't sign up without supplying this information. I decided to give it a bogus password to see what would happen. myYearbook tried to access my e-mail, told me the password was wrong, and if I would be so kind as to provide the right password.
....and I thought Facebook was aggressive!
Needless to say, I removed this app from my phone.
The eHarmony app
eHarmony is a paid service. Having been bitten by match.com and lexa.nl in the past, I am wary of paid services. In general, only paying members can respond to your messages on these things, meaning that 9 times out of 10, you might as well write a message to your TV set. (It's actually less idiotic since, if you switch on the TV set, it will at least say something back...)
So I read the blurb carefully. It uses the word "FREE" (in capitals) a lot, but if you read between the lines, you find that it will not let members respond for "FREE"
The blurb informs you that it's "better than the dating apps for Skout, Zoosk, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish or Match.com" - thereby violating Dutch advertising law, which states that you can only directly attack a competitor if you can prove your claims. eHarmony suggests their psychological test is more important than profile pictures. Unfortunately, they also inform you that their psychological test has been
So what's going on? Apparently smartphone users get a dumbed-down version of the eHarmony test, so either their matching isn't as good as those who buy the original thing, or the matching algorithm isn't as sophisticated as we've always been told. But that casts the whole "better than those sites with profile pictures" in a very weird light.
...and it doesn't mention location-based services (GPS) either.
The app for eHarmony is "FREE", but it's utterly useless until you're a paying member of eHarmony. Until then, eHarmony gets to advertise itself on your phone for "FREE".
SinglesAroundMe
I was initially put off by this app, because the maker claimed that it "has taken the world by storm". Must have been a very quiet kind of storm then, I never even heard of this app until now.
But when I found that most dating apps fill their blurbs with self-aggrandizing drivel, I decided to give this one another look. Once I got past the usual blah-blah, I found that this one does use GPS. It even seems to have some users over here in the Netherlands.
It doesn't ask for all that many privileges, either - GPS, camera, a few more. I'm not quite sure why it wants the access to the camera, I guess it's so I can take a picture of myself for use with the app.
But this is one app I installed. Unfortunately, it is bug-ridden; most of the time, it tells me GPS isn't switched on, even though it is. This can sometimes be helped by killing the process in the Task Manager and re-starting it, but really... how user-friendly is that?
When I finally get through and log on, it tells me that logon fails because it "can't find www/login.htm" (or something like that).
I'll give this one a few more chances, but those bugs had better be fixed soon!
And finally...
On closing, there is one thing I'd like to say to the people who make smartphone dating apps:
I'm NOT interested in how "great" your app is. I'm NOT interested in your endless self-praise and your bad-mouthing the competition.
What I AM intersted in is: HOW does your app work, and HOW MANY members do you have in my country?
If you can't answer those two questions, you have no business writing dating apps.
dinsdag 17 mei 2011
Murphy's Laws of Online Dating
Over the last few weeks, I haven't had the time to try out another dating site; the real world, both at work and in my spare time, has kept me quite busy.
So there's no review this time. But in order to stick to my 2-weekly schedule, I'm giving you something else instead - what I consider to be Murphy's laws of online dating.
As usual, this is from the perspective of a straight male.... although some of them hold for other perspectives as well.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of the "Murphy's law" thing. (This should be obvious for everyone except intellectual property morons...)
Now that we have that out of the way, here comes the list.
Anybody else have Murphy-worthy comments on online dating? Let me know!
Edit: Added the one about being honest. (May 19)
So there's no review this time. But in order to stick to my 2-weekly schedule, I'm giving you something else instead - what I consider to be Murphy's laws of online dating.
As usual, this is from the perspective of a straight male.... although some of them hold for other perspectives as well.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of the "Murphy's law" thing. (This should be obvious for everyone except intellectual property morons...)
Now that we have that out of the way, here comes the list.
- The biggest proponent of online dating is the friend who has never done online dating.
- If a dating site doesn't work for you, it looses a member.
But if it does work for you, it looses two members.
So it's better for a dating site to suck than to work.
- Matching algorithms will match you to someone who hasn't been online for 3 weeks.
- The profile you really like belongs to someone who forgot about her account.
- Your carefully composed message of genuine interest... will get drowned in the messages from other guys, and be deleted unread.
- If your friends know 1 person who met his or her lover online, they will conclude that "online dating works".
If your friends know 10 people who have given up online dating in disgust, they will ignore this.
- Every dating site considers itself "leading".
- Every dating site considers itself "the Google of online dating".
- Dating sites where you can't see the picture until you've chatted - have a magical attraction for ugly people.
- Articles that criticize paid dating services are written by free dating services.
- Articles that criticize free dating services are written by paid dating services.
- Dating sites speak half-truths about everything from their number of members to the price of their serivces... and then tell their members to be honest to each other.
Anybody else have Murphy-worthy comments on online dating? Let me know!
Edit: Added the one about being honest. (May 19)
dinsdag 3 mei 2011
Pudding with Peppers
(A review of pepper.nl)
Hello all, and welcome back to another review of a (hopefully) innovative dating site.
Today's review is about Pepper.nl. I could say that it has been on my radar for a while... but it's more like it barged in, pushed all the other candidates aside, and started screaming, "I'm here! Right in the middle! Me! Me!"
And that is not a good sign. Above all, Pepper.nl is an attention whore.
But let's begin at the beginning. Several friends pointed me to a new website, "5daters.nl". Apparently, this was created by 5 singles who were fed up with the way dating sites work. And so, through this website, they started to ask other singles for input - how should a good dating site work?
In truth, the whole idea seems to have originated in the boardroom of commercial Dutch TV broadcaster RTL. This is not necessarily bad, but it is strange that they aren't more upfront about it.
Either way, the result of this crowd-surfing was a new dating site called Pepper.nl. The site is not free, but it has a free 1-month trial period.
When you sign up for Pepper.nl, it gives you a questionnaire; your answers in this questionnaire will later be used to connect you to other people on the site. (Nothing innovative so far!)
When dating sites make a questionnaire, they have a choice: they can take an existing psychological test, or make up the questions themselves. It seems that Pepper.nl chose the latter route.
Each question in the questionnaire is a statement, to which you can check one of four answers: "Helemaal mee oneens" ("Totally disagree"), "Meer oneens dan eens" ("Disagree more than agree"), "Meer eens dan oneens" ("Agree more than disagree"), and "Helemaal mee oneens" ("Totally disagree").
What is missing here is a "Don't know/don't care" option. This is probably intentional, an attempt to force you to answer one way or the other. This goes wrong when the site starts posing vague statements like "I look for situations in which I can express my different sides" ("Ik zoek naar situaties waarin ik de verschillende kanten van mezelf kwijt kan") or "Everything changes too often and too fast" ("Alles verandert te vaak en te snel"). Another tricky one: "I strife mostly for financial security" ("Ik streef vooral naar financiële zekerheid"). Err... what if I already have financial security?
And then you have to upload pictures. One conclusion of the crowd-surfing by 5daters.nl was that dating sites need more pictures. So their brainchild pepper.nl forces you to upload no less than 6.
And now we get to the painful part.
Pepper.nl wants to know what you like and dislike... from your Facebook or Hyves account. (Hyves is the major Dutch social network). The site tells you that it will only take what you allow it to take, but let's face it - this is Facebook we're talking about. If it feels like giving Pepper.nl all your surfing history it will do so without blinking. Hyves might be more careful, especially in consideration of what is left of the Dutch privacy laws. But ultimately, having a Hyves or Facebook account should not be required to do online dating. (I for one choose to keep my profiles strictly separate from my online dating profile because it is too identifying. I won't Facebook-friend people before I've met them in real life!)
Unfortunately, without the information from your Hyves or Facebook accounts, your profile is "not complete", and you won't get any matches.
But the kicker has yet to come!
Pepper.nl is heavily advertised on Dutch websites (that alone proves that this is not a simple project by a group of friends, but a serious commercial venture with a heavy advertising budget). The advertisement is a moving GIF that starts with "Dating sites - they don't work!" ("Dating sites - ze werken niet!").
And this is very true, because Pepper.nl literally doesn't work!
For more than a week now, when I try to log on to Pepper.nl to complete my profile, it tells me that I cannot get in because of security reasons (the favorite excuse of the incompetent technician).
Er... I log on, give my password, and THEN you tell me that you have security issues? If you have security issues, you should not be asking for passwords AT ALL, they might get compromised!
And for the record, I used the right password. I tried to log on with a bogus password and I was told that that password was wrong - I didn't get the "security" warning then.
If Pepper.nl were a pudding...
If Pepper.nl were a pudding, it would be made by a cook who asked you everything, and wouldn't take "I don't know" for an answer. The cook would then give you the pudding he said everyone else wanted. But when you tried to eat it, you would find that the dog has gotten it instead.
And now in English...
"made by a cook who asked you everything, and wouldn't take 'I don't know' for an answer."
The questionnaire is the usual annoyance; but it is worse because it only has 4 options, and not a "don't know"/"don't care" option. While I can see the logic behind this, the questions themselves were less well considered, making it an awkward experience. The people who make these questionnaires must be very weird individuals.
"The cook would then give you the pudding he said everyone else wanted."
Pepper.nl came about after a crowd-surf for input on how a dating site should work. This is a good idea, provided you realize that the crowd does not always know best.
There were 5 conclusions (http://www.5daters.nl/De_tussenstand/):
But the strangest part is that having real contact is considered only number 5; shouldn't contact be the first priority of a dating site??
...when you tried to eat it, you would find that the dog has gotten it instead.
Dogs can make food disappear in less than two seconds; Pepper can make access to your profile disappear in the same amount of time.
5daters.nl was on the right track by asking input from singles on how a dating site should work. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell them about "availability of service" - something online daters take for granted (those spoiled brats!) And so availability never made it to 5daters.nl/Pepper.nl's priority list.
Pudding Judgment: 1 out of 10
Bad-mouthing other dating sites, and then failing yourself. Not only failing to make a better dating site (that is to be expected), but failing to actually provide a service at all. Pepper.nl must be the laughingstock of the industry.
Hello all, and welcome back to another review of a (hopefully) innovative dating site.
Today's review is about Pepper.nl. I could say that it has been on my radar for a while... but it's more like it barged in, pushed all the other candidates aside, and started screaming, "I'm here! Right in the middle! Me! Me!"
And that is not a good sign. Above all, Pepper.nl is an attention whore.
But let's begin at the beginning. Several friends pointed me to a new website, "5daters.nl". Apparently, this was created by 5 singles who were fed up with the way dating sites work. And so, through this website, they started to ask other singles for input - how should a good dating site work?
In truth, the whole idea seems to have originated in the boardroom of commercial Dutch TV broadcaster RTL. This is not necessarily bad, but it is strange that they aren't more upfront about it.
Either way, the result of this crowd-surfing was a new dating site called Pepper.nl. The site is not free, but it has a free 1-month trial period.
When you sign up for Pepper.nl, it gives you a questionnaire; your answers in this questionnaire will later be used to connect you to other people on the site. (Nothing innovative so far!)
When dating sites make a questionnaire, they have a choice: they can take an existing psychological test, or make up the questions themselves. It seems that Pepper.nl chose the latter route.
Each question in the questionnaire is a statement, to which you can check one of four answers: "Helemaal mee oneens" ("Totally disagree"), "Meer oneens dan eens" ("Disagree more than agree"), "Meer eens dan oneens" ("Agree more than disagree"), and "Helemaal mee oneens" ("Totally disagree").
What is missing here is a "Don't know/don't care" option. This is probably intentional, an attempt to force you to answer one way or the other. This goes wrong when the site starts posing vague statements like "I look for situations in which I can express my different sides" ("Ik zoek naar situaties waarin ik de verschillende kanten van mezelf kwijt kan") or "Everything changes too often and too fast" ("Alles verandert te vaak en te snel"). Another tricky one: "I strife mostly for financial security" ("Ik streef vooral naar financiële zekerheid"). Err... what if I already have financial security?
And then you have to upload pictures. One conclusion of the crowd-surfing by 5daters.nl was that dating sites need more pictures. So their brainchild pepper.nl forces you to upload no less than 6.
And now we get to the painful part.
Pepper.nl wants to know what you like and dislike... from your Facebook or Hyves account. (Hyves is the major Dutch social network). The site tells you that it will only take what you allow it to take, but let's face it - this is Facebook we're talking about. If it feels like giving Pepper.nl all your surfing history it will do so without blinking. Hyves might be more careful, especially in consideration of what is left of the Dutch privacy laws. But ultimately, having a Hyves or Facebook account should not be required to do online dating. (I for one choose to keep my profiles strictly separate from my online dating profile because it is too identifying. I won't Facebook-friend people before I've met them in real life!)
Unfortunately, without the information from your Hyves or Facebook accounts, your profile is "not complete", and you won't get any matches.
But the kicker has yet to come!
Pepper.nl is heavily advertised on Dutch websites (that alone proves that this is not a simple project by a group of friends, but a serious commercial venture with a heavy advertising budget). The advertisement is a moving GIF that starts with "Dating sites - they don't work!" ("Dating sites - ze werken niet!").
And this is very true, because Pepper.nl literally doesn't work!
For more than a week now, when I try to log on to Pepper.nl to complete my profile, it tells me that I cannot get in because of security reasons (the favorite excuse of the incompetent technician).
Er... I log on, give my password, and THEN you tell me that you have security issues? If you have security issues, you should not be asking for passwords AT ALL, they might get compromised!
And for the record, I used the right password. I tried to log on with a bogus password and I was told that that password was wrong - I didn't get the "security" warning then.
If Pepper.nl were a pudding...
If Pepper.nl were a pudding, it would be made by a cook who asked you everything, and wouldn't take "I don't know" for an answer. The cook would then give you the pudding he said everyone else wanted. But when you tried to eat it, you would find that the dog has gotten it instead.
And now in English...
"made by a cook who asked you everything, and wouldn't take 'I don't know' for an answer."
The questionnaire is the usual annoyance; but it is worse because it only has 4 options, and not a "don't know"/"don't care" option. While I can see the logic behind this, the questions themselves were less well considered, making it an awkward experience. The people who make these questionnaires must be very weird individuals.
"The cook would then give you the pudding he said everyone else wanted."
Pepper.nl came about after a crowd-surf for input on how a dating site should work. This is a good idea, provided you realize that the crowd does not always know best.
There were 5 conclusions (http://www.5daters.nl/De_tussenstand/):
- that dating sites needed complete profiles
- that they needed more pictures
- that matching formulas don't work but can be used to do a preliminary selection
- that we don't need all the cliche's in profiles
- that it should be about dialogue and real contact
But the strangest part is that having real contact is considered only number 5; shouldn't contact be the first priority of a dating site??
...when you tried to eat it, you would find that the dog has gotten it instead.
Dogs can make food disappear in less than two seconds; Pepper can make access to your profile disappear in the same amount of time.
5daters.nl was on the right track by asking input from singles on how a dating site should work. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell them about "availability of service" - something online daters take for granted (those spoiled brats!) And so availability never made it to 5daters.nl/Pepper.nl's priority list.
Pudding Judgment: 1 out of 10
Bad-mouthing other dating sites, and then failing yourself. Not only failing to make a better dating site (that is to be expected), but failing to actually provide a service at all. Pepper.nl must be the laughingstock of the industry.
dinsdag 19 april 2011
How ok is this pudding?
(A review of okCupid.com)
Before I start with today's review, I'd like to let you know that I intend to make this blog a bi-weekly feature. I cannot yet commit to that, because trying out dating sites is a time-consuming exercise. But I will do my best.
Now let's get on with the review. Several people have told me to try okCupid.
I was a bit hesitant about this. Although okCupid is a free site with a reasonable reputation, it was acquired by match.com - a site so appallingly bad that even it's own CEO doesn't use it.
It's also involved in a class action lawsuit for it's number of dead profiles.
But the only guy I know who got his girlfriend from a dating site, met her on okCupid. So maybe, I thought, I should go on okCupid before match.com ruins it with their silly ideas about how a dating site should work?
And so I got on okCupid, which is a "profile gallery" - a set of profiles that you can write to.
It doesn't bother you with a questionnaire or psychological test beforehand - there are more questions and tests than you can shake a stick at, but you can answer them whenever you please. Many of them were not made by okCupid, but by members. Which means that not all the tests and questions are serious.
While okCupid is a profile gallery, it won't let you write to profiles indiscriminately. It selects the profiles it shows you with a matching algorithm. The algorithm bases its choices on how you and other members answered the questions.
But when you start browsing your matches, it also shows you people who are "like" your matches. Generally, there is a sidebar on each profile showing what people are "like" that profile. And you can contact these people too, even if they're not matched to you.
So essentially, it's a profile gallery that pretends to be a matching system.
And then there are some interesting discoveries...
1. okCupid has informed me that I am in the top half of it's most attractive people. And that my matches will now be selected from more attractive people. ...That doesn't explain the profile whose only picture displays a guy. (And not even a handsome guy at that!)
2. Lots of dead profiles.
okCupid has lots of inactive profiles - I've seen profiles whose last activity was dated 2007 and even a few from 2006! Neither can I blame match.com for this - 2007 was long before match.com acquired okCupid.
On the plus side, at least okCupid still lets you know when these profiles were last active. Match.com and lexa.nl simply state "last active over 3 months ago". Back when I was on match.com and lexa.nl, I have written to some of those profiles when I got moredesperate adventurous. Now I wonder how old those profiles really were?
3. One-shot contacts.
okCupid tells you beforehand if someone responds "selectively" or "often". This is good, but it doesn't tell you if somebody maintains these contacts. I've got a response rate of 50% and usually positive reactions to my profile. But only one has bothered to reply after the first exchange of messages. So, it's not as frustrating as the average profile gallery, but it's still not much of a way to meet girls!
Also, after you've sent somebody a message, it will tell you when you first contacted this person...instead of the response rate.
4. Free or paid?
okCupid is free... but it bugs you about paid "A-list" memberships. Sometimes it offers you a feature, then when you click on it, it tells you that only "A-list" members get that feature.
5. Matched to what age??
okCupid lets you set the age category you're interested in... and then ignores it. I have been matched to women who stated that the maximum age for their men was 4 years below my age.
Despite all this, I'm actually still positive about okCupid. They should get rid of these old profiles, but at least they show you that these people last logged in 5 years ago, so you don't waste time and effort on messages. (And it conveniently illustrates how big the problem is... something the newspapers never tell you when theyadvertise discuss online dating).
Before I start with today's review, I'd like to let you know that I intend to make this blog a bi-weekly feature. I cannot yet commit to that, because trying out dating sites is a time-consuming exercise. But I will do my best.
Now let's get on with the review. Several people have told me to try okCupid.
I was a bit hesitant about this. Although okCupid is a free site with a reasonable reputation, it was acquired by match.com - a site so appallingly bad that even it's own CEO doesn't use it.
It's also involved in a class action lawsuit for it's number of dead profiles.
But the only guy I know who got his girlfriend from a dating site, met her on okCupid. So maybe, I thought, I should go on okCupid before match.com ruins it with their silly ideas about how a dating site should work?
And so I got on okCupid, which is a "profile gallery" - a set of profiles that you can write to.
It doesn't bother you with a questionnaire or psychological test beforehand - there are more questions and tests than you can shake a stick at, but you can answer them whenever you please. Many of them were not made by okCupid, but by members. Which means that not all the tests and questions are serious.
While okCupid is a profile gallery, it won't let you write to profiles indiscriminately. It selects the profiles it shows you with a matching algorithm. The algorithm bases its choices on how you and other members answered the questions.
But when you start browsing your matches, it also shows you people who are "like" your matches. Generally, there is a sidebar on each profile showing what people are "like" that profile. And you can contact these people too, even if they're not matched to you.
So essentially, it's a profile gallery that pretends to be a matching system.
And then there are some interesting discoveries...
1. okCupid has informed me that I am in the top half of it's most attractive people. And that my matches will now be selected from more attractive people. ...That doesn't explain the profile whose only picture displays a guy. (And not even a handsome guy at that!)
2. Lots of dead profiles.
okCupid has lots of inactive profiles - I've seen profiles whose last activity was dated 2007 and even a few from 2006! Neither can I blame match.com for this - 2007 was long before match.com acquired okCupid.
On the plus side, at least okCupid still lets you know when these profiles were last active. Match.com and lexa.nl simply state "last active over 3 months ago". Back when I was on match.com and lexa.nl, I have written to some of those profiles when I got more
3. One-shot contacts.
okCupid tells you beforehand if someone responds "selectively" or "often". This is good, but it doesn't tell you if somebody maintains these contacts. I've got a response rate of 50% and usually positive reactions to my profile. But only one has bothered to reply after the first exchange of messages. So, it's not as frustrating as the average profile gallery, but it's still not much of a way to meet girls!
Also, after you've sent somebody a message, it will tell you when you first contacted this person...instead of the response rate.
4. Free or paid?
okCupid is free... but it bugs you about paid "A-list" memberships. Sometimes it offers you a feature, then when you click on it, it tells you that only "A-list" members get that feature.
5. Matched to what age??
okCupid lets you set the age category you're interested in... and then ignores it. I have been matched to women who stated that the maximum age for their men was 4 years below my age.
Despite all this, I'm actually still positive about okCupid. They should get rid of these old profiles, but at least they show you that these people last logged in 5 years ago, so you don't waste time and effort on messages. (And it conveniently illustrates how big the problem is... something the newspapers never tell you when they
If okCupid were a pudding...
If okCupid were a pudding, it would be a light dessert, with the obligatory little extra's like sprinkles. Although the taste is good and varied, it is just too airy and light, and leaves you a little hungry at the end of the meal.And now in English...
So, what does that mean in English? An analysis of the analogy."A light dessert, with the obligatory little extra's like sprinkles."
okCupid has a number of features, including games (I haven't tried those yet) and tests, and the users can make tests themselves, too. It cracks the occassional joke - when it asks what languages you speak,one of the possible answers is the computer programming language C++! But unlike klikthet.nl which I discussed earlier, it knows when to stop."The taste is good..."
As dating sites go, okCupid is fun. The freeform approach to the questionnaire makes answering the questions something you can do at leisure, rather than an annoying requirement."...and varied"
Probably due to it's freeform format, okCupid attracts a lot of non-mainstream daters. I've seen bisexuals, people in open relationships and even a few bdsm enthusiasts. In other words, the population is very varied, from all walks of life."It is just too airy and light, and leaves you a little hungry at the end of the meal."
While no dating site has ever gotten me a date, okCupid outdid the rest by almost getting me a date.Pudding Judgment: 6 out of 10
This site worked for one person I know, and it tries to work for me. I'm even starting to believe that profile galleries aren't such a bad idea after all - it's just that most sites are Doing It Wrong. I'm not so certain that okCupid is Doing It Right, but at least it's on the way. I'll be keeping my profile on this one.dinsdag 5 april 2011
The Pudding Taster and the Virtual Quizmaster (2)
A review of klikthet.nl, part 2
Yours truly, the Pudding Taster, has decided to quit referring to himself in 3th person. It seemed a good idea at first, but it makes for awkward writing.... and is hard to do consistently.
The picture on the left (from "Asterix and the Mansions of the Gods") illustrates the further drawbacks of this particular style. :-)
That being said, let's move on to today's review. I have been continuing my adventures on klikthet.nl - the weirdest dating service I've encountered so far.
I should start this review with a rectification. When I previously wrote about this site, I said that the Fair Trade label was not included in it's list of trademarks. This was in error; the Fair Trade label is there, but it is listed under "Max Havelaar" - the Dutch member of Fairtrade International. You don't see the trademarks in the system until you start typing, so typing "F" never showed me "Fair Trade". Only when I started looking for the Dutch brand instead, did I find it.
Next, about the site itself. As you may recall, this site asks it's members everything, then uses the answers in a quizzing game - you get to see pictures of other users, and are asked what they answered in the questionnaire.
The quizzing game is entertaining, but it can be outright silly. Some questions are nearly impossible to answer ("what province is this guy from?" - when you only see a head). Others are giveaways ("What skin color did this girl enter in her questionnaire?"). One other question was, "which of these three people is convinced that there's no God?" (Hint from yours truly: it's not the one wearing a crucifix).
Of course, answering questions about people doesn't get you in touch with them... which is the purpose of a dating site.
For that, the site matches you to people, that you can then chat with. Like most matching systems, only the makers of the site know what it is based on. Not getting a match for a long time, I decided to raise the age of my preferred match... and shortly after that, I got a new match. Strangely, she was not only younger than the age I indicated, but even younger than the age I originally entered! Not that I mind being matched to a much younger woman, but I have some doubts that the lady agrees...
And recently, I got another match... so now I have 3 matches that I could chat with... if they came online. Ever.
If Klikthet.nl were a pudding...
If this site were a pudding, it would be covered with whipped cream, sprinkles, those little paper umbrellas and paper flags... but if you sank your spoon in it, you would find that there's not actually a pudding underneath!
And now in English...
So, what does that say about the site in plain English? Let's see...
covered with whipped cream, sprinkles, those little paper umbrellas and paper flags:
This site revolves around a game. The game lets you score points, that you can then spend... for example, to get a view of how other people judged you.
Sometimes the site shows you two pictures of members of your desired gender, and asks which one you like best. Dragging a heart symbol to one of the two will make the two of you a potential click... if the other accepts. The price is 20 points. (It looks like this will not be taken from your points total until the other accepts - so far the only one I asked has not responded).
Also, the site uses popular language, apparently aiming at a young audience. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but it is done so often that it feels awkward and forced.
You can also use the points to get analysis results from your own clicking (although what this is based upon, again only the site knows). This is presented in the form of a restaurant menu, which rather wreaks havoc with my "pudding" analogy. Also I find it somewhat dubious that "new members and clicks" are called "free-range meat" in this restaurant menu... even worse in Dutch, where the word "scharrel" (free-range) can also refer to a casual romantic partner or even a person in a casual sexual encounter!
You can describe your preferred match in detail, but you can drag a teddy bear icon to any point that you find particularly important. You get three teddy bears for this purpose.
If you sank your spoon in it, you would find that there's not actually a pudding underneath
None of the my matches are online when I am. Since you can also type a message into the chatbox when the other is offline, I asked my first match if she ever came online. The silence that has now lasted for weeks tells me enough... this is yet another site that has a lot of inactive members.
Pudding Judgment: 5 out of 10 (meaning it's still unsatisfactory)
This is a funny site, but until my matches decide to come online and communicate, it fails miserably as a dating service.
It's a waste of time, but to this site's credit, at least it's a pleasant waste of time.
Yours truly, the Pudding Taster, has decided to quit referring to himself in 3th person. It seemed a good idea at first, but it makes for awkward writing.... and is hard to do consistently.
The picture on the left (from "Asterix and the Mansions of the Gods") illustrates the further drawbacks of this particular style. :-)
That being said, let's move on to today's review. I have been continuing my adventures on klikthet.nl - the weirdest dating service I've encountered so far.
I should start this review with a rectification. When I previously wrote about this site, I said that the Fair Trade label was not included in it's list of trademarks. This was in error; the Fair Trade label is there, but it is listed under "Max Havelaar" - the Dutch member of Fairtrade International. You don't see the trademarks in the system until you start typing, so typing "F" never showed me "Fair Trade". Only when I started looking for the Dutch brand instead, did I find it.
Next, about the site itself. As you may recall, this site asks it's members everything, then uses the answers in a quizzing game - you get to see pictures of other users, and are asked what they answered in the questionnaire.
The quizzing game is entertaining, but it can be outright silly. Some questions are nearly impossible to answer ("what province is this guy from?" - when you only see a head). Others are giveaways ("What skin color did this girl enter in her questionnaire?"). One other question was, "which of these three people is convinced that there's no God?" (Hint from yours truly: it's not the one wearing a crucifix).
Of course, answering questions about people doesn't get you in touch with them... which is the purpose of a dating site.
For that, the site matches you to people, that you can then chat with. Like most matching systems, only the makers of the site know what it is based on. Not getting a match for a long time, I decided to raise the age of my preferred match... and shortly after that, I got a new match. Strangely, she was not only younger than the age I indicated, but even younger than the age I originally entered! Not that I mind being matched to a much younger woman, but I have some doubts that the lady agrees...
And recently, I got another match... so now I have 3 matches that I could chat with... if they came online. Ever.
If Klikthet.nl were a pudding...
If this site were a pudding, it would be covered with whipped cream, sprinkles, those little paper umbrellas and paper flags... but if you sank your spoon in it, you would find that there's not actually a pudding underneath!
And now in English...
So, what does that say about the site in plain English? Let's see...
covered with whipped cream, sprinkles, those little paper umbrellas and paper flags:
This site revolves around a game. The game lets you score points, that you can then spend... for example, to get a view of how other people judged you.
Sometimes the site shows you two pictures of members of your desired gender, and asks which one you like best. Dragging a heart symbol to one of the two will make the two of you a potential click... if the other accepts. The price is 20 points. (It looks like this will not be taken from your points total until the other accepts - so far the only one I asked has not responded).
Also, the site uses popular language, apparently aiming at a young audience. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but it is done so often that it feels awkward and forced.
You can also use the points to get analysis results from your own clicking (although what this is based upon, again only the site knows). This is presented in the form of a restaurant menu, which rather wreaks havoc with my "pudding" analogy. Also I find it somewhat dubious that "new members and clicks" are called "free-range meat" in this restaurant menu... even worse in Dutch, where the word "scharrel" (free-range) can also refer to a casual romantic partner or even a person in a casual sexual encounter!
You can describe your preferred match in detail, but you can drag a teddy bear icon to any point that you find particularly important. You get three teddy bears for this purpose.
If you sank your spoon in it, you would find that there's not actually a pudding underneath
None of the my matches are online when I am. Since you can also type a message into the chatbox when the other is offline, I asked my first match if she ever came online. The silence that has now lasted for weeks tells me enough... this is yet another site that has a lot of inactive members.
Pudding Judgment: 5 out of 10 (meaning it's still unsatisfactory)
This is a funny site, but until my matches decide to come online and communicate, it fails miserably as a dating service.
It's a waste of time, but to this site's credit, at least it's a pleasant waste of time.
dinsdag 8 maart 2011
Activity Pudding
(A review of nmlk.nl)
Yours truly the Pudding Taster is a member of NMLK - "Nieuwe Mensen Leren Kennen" ("Meeting New People").
NMLK is not a dating site - it is an "activity site".
The site contains a list of activities. Members can subscribe to these activities - meaning they agree to go there. Members can also organize activities themselves, and that is how most activities on NMLK start.
How does it differ from Meetup Groups? The Pudding Taster will not be able to judge this until he has joined a Meetup Group; but at first glance, it would seem that Meetup Groups are groups of people who share a particular interest. NMLK, by contrast, has lots of different activities to choose from, catering to a variety of tastes. From a dog walk to a workshop on making chocolates, from skate-dancing to an ordinary drink - there's a lot of events you can join on this site!
NMLK helps you to try out new things - by facilitating the process of introducing yourself.
If you go somewhere by yourself, and want to meet people - you will have to address them. Depending on the situation, this may be awkward. With NMLK, there is always a group of people that you belong to.
NMLK points out that it is a site for meeting people in general, NOT a dating site. According to themselves, it started when 2 young men moved to Amsterdam and realized they didn't know anybody there. So they set up this site to meet other people there.
It has since grown into a site with a large membership.
Not all members are single, but most are, says NMLK - this fits the experience of the Pudding Taster, who has never heard anybody talk about their Significant Other at an NMLK activity.
But being single is not a requirement for joining NMLK, and the Pudding Taster approves of this; it keeps NMLK firmly away from the world of "singles activities", and creates a more relaxed atmosphere. The Pudding Taster believes that, paradoxically, this should make it more conducive to finding love! (Remember the old adage that loves comes when you don't expect it?)
Yet NMLK seems to have taken a cue from dating sites: they try to get an equal number of male and female members, and there is a waiting list for those who want to join.
If NMLK were a pudding....how does Activity Pudding taste?
Activity Pudding has a lot of substance, and a flavor of one's choosing. Although the sweet ingredient of love was not in the pudding that yours truly the Pudding Taster had, he believes that it could well be on the menu.
And now in English:
With NMLK, you actually meet people in real life. You don't have to write to them beforehand - you really meet, then and there (the "substance" of the pudding).
You can join any activity you like, and there are a lot of them (hence, "a flavor of one's choosing").
Not all activities are created equal. Some gather more public than others do.
The group is different for every activity, and some groups are more fun than others are. But that holds true wherever you go.
The best part is - if you don't meet Miss or Mr Right, at least you've been out and socialized with people. You've been doing something fun, and perhaps found an activity that you didn't even know existed.
Pudding Judgment: 8 out of 10
The Pudding Taster finds NMLK the best pudding he's had so far - in fact, the only service he willingly pays for!
Yours truly the Pudding Taster is a member of NMLK - "Nieuwe Mensen Leren Kennen" ("Meeting New People").
NMLK is not a dating site - it is an "activity site".
The site contains a list of activities. Members can subscribe to these activities - meaning they agree to go there. Members can also organize activities themselves, and that is how most activities on NMLK start.
How does it differ from Meetup Groups? The Pudding Taster will not be able to judge this until he has joined a Meetup Group; but at first glance, it would seem that Meetup Groups are groups of people who share a particular interest. NMLK, by contrast, has lots of different activities to choose from, catering to a variety of tastes. From a dog walk to a workshop on making chocolates, from skate-dancing to an ordinary drink - there's a lot of events you can join on this site!
NMLK helps you to try out new things - by facilitating the process of introducing yourself.
If you go somewhere by yourself, and want to meet people - you will have to address them. Depending on the situation, this may be awkward. With NMLK, there is always a group of people that you belong to.
NMLK points out that it is a site for meeting people in general, NOT a dating site. According to themselves, it started when 2 young men moved to Amsterdam and realized they didn't know anybody there. So they set up this site to meet other people there.
It has since grown into a site with a large membership.
Not all members are single, but most are, says NMLK - this fits the experience of the Pudding Taster, who has never heard anybody talk about their Significant Other at an NMLK activity.
But being single is not a requirement for joining NMLK, and the Pudding Taster approves of this; it keeps NMLK firmly away from the world of "singles activities", and creates a more relaxed atmosphere. The Pudding Taster believes that, paradoxically, this should make it more conducive to finding love! (Remember the old adage that loves comes when you don't expect it?)
Yet NMLK seems to have taken a cue from dating sites: they try to get an equal number of male and female members, and there is a waiting list for those who want to join.
If NMLK were a pudding....how does Activity Pudding taste?
Activity Pudding has a lot of substance, and a flavor of one's choosing. Although the sweet ingredient of love was not in the pudding that yours truly the Pudding Taster had, he believes that it could well be on the menu.
And now in English:
With NMLK, you actually meet people in real life. You don't have to write to them beforehand - you really meet, then and there (the "substance" of the pudding).
You can join any activity you like, and there are a lot of them (hence, "a flavor of one's choosing").
Not all activities are created equal. Some gather more public than others do.
The group is different for every activity, and some groups are more fun than others are. But that holds true wherever you go.
The best part is - if you don't meet Miss or Mr Right, at least you've been out and socialized with people. You've been doing something fun, and perhaps found an activity that you didn't even know existed.
Pudding Judgment: 8 out of 10
The Pudding Taster finds NMLK the best pudding he's had so far - in fact, the only service he willingly pays for!
dinsdag 1 maart 2011
Fun with Numbers
Just a quick but interesting finding....
Of the 2.2 million singles in the Netherlands, 3 million are members of Relatieplanet.nl.
Sources:
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrijgezel (for the number of 2.2 million singles)
http://www.datingwebsites.nl/vergelijker.php?check_13=1&check_8=1 (for the 3 million members).
Also note that Lexa.nl (which is owned by Match.com) claims 1.6 million members - apparently, every 1 in 10 people over here is a member of Lexa. With such numbers, we don't need to subscribe to Match/Lexa - just address people in real life, there's a 10% chance that they are single & looking!
Who knew mathematics could be so funny?
Of the 2.2 million singles in the Netherlands, 3 million are members of Relatieplanet.nl.
Sources:
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrijgezel (for the number of 2.2 million singles)
http://www.datingwebsites.nl/vergelijker.php?check_13=1&check_8=1 (for the 3 million members).
Also note that Lexa.nl (which is owned by Match.com) claims 1.6 million members - apparently, every 1 in 10 people over here is a member of Lexa. With such numbers, we don't need to subscribe to Match/Lexa - just address people in real life, there's a 10% chance that they are single & looking!
Who knew mathematics could be so funny?
woensdag 23 februari 2011
The Pudding Taster's Tips for Selecting a Dating Site
Here are some of the things to look for when you join a dating site, mostly from the perspective of a straight male.
This piece is personal opinion, based upon personal experience.
This piece is personal opinion, based upon personal experience.
- Does the site tell you when somebody last logged in?
- A dating service should tell you when somebody last logged in. This indicates whether the person is active on the site. If a person has not logged in for a long time, there is no point in trying to contact her (or him): this person has left the site, but forgotten to delete the profile.
- How hard is it to unsubscribe?
-
Sometimes, dating sites make it deliberately hard to unsubscribe. As long as you haven't completed the unsubscription process, they can legitimately add you to the number of members - even if you haven't logged on to the site in two years!
If it is hard to unsubscribe, this means that there will be a lot of profiles from people who stopped using the site long ago, and never managed to remove their profile. - How is the male/female imbalance dealt with?
- Since there are far more men than women on dating services, women get flooded by messages. For men, this means it is very hard to get a response.
Some services, like PaiQ.nl, solve this by only allowing contact between people matched by the system, thus limiting the deluge of messages towards women.
Another approach, taken by PlentyOfFish.com, is to let users set restrictions on who can contact them - like age range, and "must not have messaged users for Intimate Encounter". Other services, like Match.com, do not seem to address the issue at all. - If it's a paid service: can Free Members write back?
-
Paid dating services have 'Free Memberships' and 'Full Memberships'.
A Free Member is anybody who ever made a profile in the site and hasn't deleted it.
A Full Member is a paying member; only paying members can contact people.
On many sites, including match.com, lexa.nl and relatieplanet.nl, Free Members cannot respond to the messages they get. The sites never tell you who is a Free Member and who is a Full Member, so as a paying Full Member, you spend a lot of time composing messages that the recpipient cannot respond to until (s)he pays. Depending on the dating site, the recipient of your message may never see more than the subject line!
On a related note, paid dating services like to say that paid dating services are better than free ones. The theory is that people who are willing to pay for online dating are more serious about it. But if that is true, then why don't they tell us who the serious members are?
zondag 20 februari 2011
The Pudding Taster and the Virtual Quizmaster (1)
A review of klikthet.nl
"Klikt het?" is Dutch for "Does it click?"
This is a dating site that is set up around a game. To participate in this game, one has to upload 2 pictures (a headshot and a full-body shot), and fill in a questionnaire. The makers say that they'll keep it easy and just give you just a few questions, but "a few" seems to be a very relative term....there were over 30.
Also, some of the questions were a little weird. Like, "what hair colour should your ideal match have?" - the Pudding Taster doesn't have much of a preference, really! Her ideal weight and age had to be specified down to a centimeter and a year, respectively. And leaving it blank was not an option - you can only play if you answer all the questions first.
Then you have to specify, among others, your taste in music and your favorite trademarks. Sadly, some of the Pudding Tasters favorite trademarks were missing - and that includes the Fair Trade label.
Adding something yourself was not an option, but that was for a good reason that will be revealed later.
The weirdest question was what your ideal match should be - single, in a relation, or married. Yes, you read that right - the site allows you to match with someone who is already in a relation or even married.
The Pudding Taster is increasingly led to believe that the makers of dating site questionnaires are very weird people!
Playing the game
The game is simple - you are shown pictures of members and asked questions about them. For example, "how often does this person smoke". You can then choose from 3 possible answers. Giving the right answer will give you 4 to 6 "clicks" (the precise amount differs per question), giving the wrong one will cost you a similar amount. Skipping a question is an option this time, but will cost you 3 points.... er, clicks.
Other questions included what trademark fitted with a person. This explains why you have to choose such things from a limited list, and are not allowed to add new entries. The answers given in the questionnaire are meant to help in composing a multiple-choice quiz for other members.
This quizzing game is regularly interrupted by a different kind of question - two pictures of other members of the desired gender are shown, and you are asked which one you like best. Dragging a heart symbol to one of the pictures might get you in touch with this person - at a cost of 20 clicks. If the other accepts, you become "clicks".
The game is quite addictive, if a little superficial. Are we really supposed to determine people's culinary preferences from their looks? (The Pudding Taster wonders if the people at klikthet.nl cater specifically to people wearing deerstalker hats and smoking pipes. Elementary, my dear Watson!)
Even so, it's one if those games where you keep thinking, "OK, let's play one more round".
The Pudding Taster got a match on Klikthet.nl. He sent her a message, and is still awaiting the response. The drawback here is that you know practically nothing about your match - all you have to go on are two pictures. Even someone's preferred trademarks might have been a conversation starter.
Pudding Judgment: pending.
The concept of this site is very good - play a game and meet potential dates. While on other sites, you hang out waiting for one of your matches to come online, here you spend the waiting time taking quizzes.
Also, the system determines to whom you can speak, although you have some input.
Still, it hasn't given the Pudding Taster a date - or even a communication! Until it does that, it fails as a dating service. Since new matches are given only once every 2 weeks, according to the site itself, the Pudding Taster is giving it some more time.
"Klikt het?" is Dutch for "Does it click?"
This is a dating site that is set up around a game. To participate in this game, one has to upload 2 pictures (a headshot and a full-body shot), and fill in a questionnaire. The makers say that they'll keep it easy and just give you just a few questions, but "a few" seems to be a very relative term....there were over 30.
Also, some of the questions were a little weird. Like, "what hair colour should your ideal match have?" - the Pudding Taster doesn't have much of a preference, really! Her ideal weight and age had to be specified down to a centimeter and a year, respectively. And leaving it blank was not an option - you can only play if you answer all the questions first.
Then you have to specify, among others, your taste in music and your favorite trademarks. Sadly, some of the Pudding Tasters favorite trademarks were missing - and that includes the Fair Trade label.
Adding something yourself was not an option, but that was for a good reason that will be revealed later.
The weirdest question was what your ideal match should be - single, in a relation, or married. Yes, you read that right - the site allows you to match with someone who is already in a relation or even married.
The Pudding Taster is increasingly led to believe that the makers of dating site questionnaires are very weird people!
Playing the game
The game is simple - you are shown pictures of members and asked questions about them. For example, "how often does this person smoke". You can then choose from 3 possible answers. Giving the right answer will give you 4 to 6 "clicks" (the precise amount differs per question), giving the wrong one will cost you a similar amount. Skipping a question is an option this time, but will cost you 3 points.... er, clicks.
Other questions included what trademark fitted with a person. This explains why you have to choose such things from a limited list, and are not allowed to add new entries. The answers given in the questionnaire are meant to help in composing a multiple-choice quiz for other members.
This quizzing game is regularly interrupted by a different kind of question - two pictures of other members of the desired gender are shown, and you are asked which one you like best. Dragging a heart symbol to one of the pictures might get you in touch with this person - at a cost of 20 clicks. If the other accepts, you become "clicks".
The game is quite addictive, if a little superficial. Are we really supposed to determine people's culinary preferences from their looks? (The Pudding Taster wonders if the people at klikthet.nl cater specifically to people wearing deerstalker hats and smoking pipes. Elementary, my dear Watson!)
Even so, it's one if those games where you keep thinking, "OK, let's play one more round".
The Pudding Taster got a match on Klikthet.nl. He sent her a message, and is still awaiting the response. The drawback here is that you know practically nothing about your match - all you have to go on are two pictures. Even someone's preferred trademarks might have been a conversation starter.
Pudding Judgment: pending.
The concept of this site is very good - play a game and meet potential dates. While on other sites, you hang out waiting for one of your matches to come online, here you spend the waiting time taking quizzes.
Also, the system determines to whom you can speak, although you have some input.
Still, it hasn't given the Pudding Taster a date - or even a communication! Until it does that, it fails as a dating service. Since new matches are given only once every 2 weeks, according to the site itself, the Pudding Taster is giving it some more time.
dinsdag 15 februari 2011
The Pudding Taster and the Social Network (2)
Yours truly, the Pudding Taster, has continued his adventures on Single.nl.
He has sent messages to several people, but not gotten a single response (no pun intended). Not that the Pudding Taster is surprised: this is quite normal for dating sites, for reasons explained elsewhere. He has also been active in the forums, but that has not yielded results either.
How does Social Network pudding taste?
If Single.nl were a pudding... it would have been made by a cook who did a half-hearted attempt at establishing who you were, then based his pudding on that. The cook presents his pudding as being better than others,but the ingredients have gone stale.
And now in English:
"a cook who did a half-hearted attempt at establishing who you were"
Single.nl allows you to describe your interests - things in which you are "interested", "not interested" or an "expert". But the subjects are vague. For example, what does it mean to be an expert in "military"? That you are a Civil War buff? Or that you have a profound interest in military hardware? While the one does not exclude the other, there's a world of difference.
" the cook presents his pudding as being better than others"
Single.nl says it's a social network. Why? Because you can be "friends" with other members? News flash, Marquet B.V. - other sites have been doing that too.
"the ingredients have gone stale"
There are very few people on this site. Worse, it doesn't tell you the last time people were active - you may be writing to someone who hasn't been online in 3 months.
Pudding Judgment: 3 out of 10
Single.nl is not a social network. It is just a profile gallery like every other run-of-the-mill dating site. Worse, however, is that it has a very limited membership. And even there it is doubtful which of the members are active. The whole thing has been a waste of time.
He has sent messages to several people, but not gotten a single response (no pun intended). Not that the Pudding Taster is surprised: this is quite normal for dating sites, for reasons explained elsewhere. He has also been active in the forums, but that has not yielded results either.
How does Social Network pudding taste?
If Single.nl were a pudding... it would have been made by a cook who did a half-hearted attempt at establishing who you were, then based his pudding on that. The cook presents his pudding as being better than others,but the ingredients have gone stale.
And now in English:
"a cook who did a half-hearted attempt at establishing who you were"
Single.nl allows you to describe your interests - things in which you are "interested", "not interested" or an "expert". But the subjects are vague. For example, what does it mean to be an expert in "military"? That you are a Civil War buff? Or that you have a profound interest in military hardware? While the one does not exclude the other, there's a world of difference.
" the cook presents his pudding as being better than others"
Single.nl says it's a social network. Why? Because you can be "friends" with other members? News flash, Marquet B.V. - other sites have been doing that too.
"the ingredients have gone stale"
There are very few people on this site. Worse, it doesn't tell you the last time people were active - you may be writing to someone who hasn't been online in 3 months.
Pudding Judgment: 3 out of 10
Single.nl is not a social network. It is just a profile gallery like every other run-of-the-mill dating site. Worse, however, is that it has a very limited membership. And even there it is doubtful which of the members are active. The whole thing has been a waste of time.
vrijdag 11 februari 2011
Dutch pudding is not made out of fish!
or, what could have been a review of plentyoffish.com
PlentyOfFish, or PoF for short, is an old player in the world of free dating websites. It also happens to be one of the few sites left where you can browse profiles without becoming a member first.
So yours truly the Pudding Taster went to PoF and, to his surprise, found a woman he'd like to contact. She looked nice (4 pictures, a good sign), was of an appropriate age range, and looking at her "Chemistry result" seemed to be his kind of person.
So the Pudding Taster hit the "Contact now" and started the process of joining. Having already agreed to the Terms of Service (!), the Pudding Taster is suddenly halted by this:
That's right, they don't allow members from the Netherlands.
Of course, the Pudding Taster could have used a proxy server to get around this... but it still means that every recent PoF member from the Netherlands is someone who knows how to use one, too. And the number of women on dating sites is small enough without limiting them to the geekier ones.
So... no Fish Pudding for today! Culinary speaking, that's probably just as well...
(Note: minor edits in article, on Feb 11, 17.24h)
PlentyOfFish, or PoF for short, is an old player in the world of free dating websites. It also happens to be one of the few sites left where you can browse profiles without becoming a member first.
So yours truly the Pudding Taster went to PoF and, to his surprise, found a woman he'd like to contact. She looked nice (4 pictures, a good sign), was of an appropriate age range, and looking at her "Chemistry result" seemed to be his kind of person.
So the Pudding Taster hit the "Contact
You are attempting to signup from a country we currently do not accept signups from your current location. We only accept users from Canada, UK, US, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, Spain, France, Italy and Germany
That's right, they don't allow members from the Netherlands.
Of course, the Pudding Taster could have used a proxy server to get around this... but it still means that every recent PoF member from the Netherlands is someone who knows how to use one, too. And the number of women on dating sites is small enough without limiting them to the geekier ones.
So... no Fish Pudding for today! Culinary speaking, that's probably just as well...
(Note: minor edits in article, on Feb 11, 17.24h)
zondag 6 februari 2011
The Pudding Taster and the Social Network (1)
A review of single.nl
Single.nl advertises itself as a social network, "like Facebook and Hyves, but for dating".
It is a paid service, which is normally enough reason for the Pudding Taster to ignore it. He has been a member of paid dating services in the past and found them a COMPLETE waste of time and money.
But Single.nl offers a free 3-month Full Membership, and so the Pudding Taster is willing to give this service a look.
Not too trustful of dating services, the Pudding Taster took a look at the terms and conditions first.
The legal hassle
The "Algemene Voorwaarden" (terms of use) are in a poorly rendered Flash document. You cannot select parts of the text for copy-pasting. You can print the "Algemene Voorwaarden" but not save them.
All of this does not bode well!
There are some "interesting" terms of use, by necessity typed over manually. For starters, nr 2.7.
"2.7 Single.nl behoudt zich het recht voor om zonder voorafgaande aankondiging inschrijvingsvereisten en tarieven van diensten of producten die op de site worden aangeboden te wijzigen."
[2.7 Single.nl retains the right to change requirements of subscription, and tariffs of services of products that are offered on the site, without prior notice].
Without prior notice? How hard is it to give a warning about an upcoming change of tariffs or terms?
But then the Pudding Taster finds something that is better:
"3.4 U stemt ermee in niet meer dan drie {3} e-mailberichten binnen 24 uur te sturen naar hetzelfde lid zonder eerst van de geadresseerde antwoord of toestemming te hebben gekregen. Stuurt u meer dan 3 e-mailberichten dan beschouwen we [dat] als het lastigvallen van anderen en dat wordt niet getolereerd door Single.nl."
[3.4 You agree not to send more than three {3} e-mail messages within 24 hours to the same member without first having received answer or permission from the adressee. If you send more than 3 e-mail messages than we consider [that] as harassing others and that is not tolerated by Single.nl]
(The [dat] is added by yours truly, it was really missing from the legalese!)
Condition 3.4 sounds like a good idea, despite the grammar mistake. It should save attractive ladies from over-active male suitors. Then, a few points later, it gets interesting again:
"3.7 U stemt ermee in dat voor het gebruik van Single.nl u bereid bent commerciele berichten te ontvangen, echter uitsluitend betreffende activiteiten van Marquet B.V."
[3.7 You agree toat for use of Single.nl you are willing to receive commercial messages, but only concerning activities of Marquet B.V.]
The Pudding Taster has serious reservations regarding this one. He can understand this for a free membership - but the T&C are not only for the free trial membership that he is trying, they are the same terms and conditions to which paying members are subject!
It would have been more dignified if Marquet B.V. offered a newsletter, to which members can opt-in.
All of this comes on top of a clause that allows Marquet B.V., the owners of Single.nl, to do data-mining on their membership. In that respect, it is indeed like Facebook....
The experience itself
Unique on profile sites, it says quite clearly who is a Full Member!
For those uninitiated in themisery world of "profile gallery" dating sites, here's what makes it unique.
Profile galleries have free members and paying members (a.k.a. Full Members); but only paying members can send messages. This sounds reasonable, but the catch is that paying members are also the only ones who can respond to a message. So having already paid for meeting people, thee sites now requires that you tempt others to pay... or you're not getting any contact after all.
Single.nl is refreshing in that it lets you know who is also a Full Member. You won't waste time and effort on a person who is never going to pony up the money to respond anyway. It beats the competition hands down on this point!
Also unique, but somewhat confusing, is that you can also look for a roommate in this website.
Preparing the Pudding: filling in one's profile
When filling in the profile, one gets a list of subjects, for which one has to enter where one stands on each subject. The options are "geen belangstelling", "belangstelling" and "expert" ("not interested", "interested" and "expert"). The Pudding Taster finds this rather limited; he knows himself to have a more than average interest in several subjects, but is hardly an expert in most of them.
On top of that, some of the subjects are rather vague. What does it mean to be an expert in "Computing"? Does that mean knowing how to configure wireless internet? Or does it mean hanging out on Hyves, Facebook and Twitter?
There is also a forum, which looks a bit amateurish. The threads indicate when the last message was posted, but they don't add years! So if one finds a message posted on February 14 in January... that message is almost a year old!
(The Pudding Taster wonders if messages on the forums are automatically deleted after a year?)
Also, while the threads give their latest date of activity, the messages themselves aren't dated. Rather a mistake, it would seem - is there a point in responding to a message that was posted 6 months ago?
Pudding Judgment: pending!
Single.nl will not be judged yet. The Pudding Taster has only recently become active on the site and is awaiting the results. It looks grim for Single.nl, but the site has a few good points so yours truly is still giving it a chance.
Single.nl advertises itself as a social network, "like Facebook and Hyves, but for dating".
It is a paid service, which is normally enough reason for the Pudding Taster to ignore it. He has been a member of paid dating services in the past and found them a COMPLETE waste of time and money.
But Single.nl offers a free 3-month Full Membership, and so the Pudding Taster is willing to give this service a look.
Not too trustful of dating services, the Pudding Taster took a look at the terms and conditions first.
The legal hassle
The "Algemene Voorwaarden" (terms of use) are in a poorly rendered Flash document. You cannot select parts of the text for copy-pasting. You can print the "Algemene Voorwaarden" but not save them.
All of this does not bode well!
There are some "interesting" terms of use, by necessity typed over manually. For starters, nr 2.7.
"2.7 Single.nl behoudt zich het recht voor om zonder voorafgaande aankondiging inschrijvingsvereisten en tarieven van diensten of producten die op de site worden aangeboden te wijzigen."
[2.7 Single.nl retains the right to change requirements of subscription, and tariffs of services of products that are offered on the site, without prior notice].
Without prior notice? How hard is it to give a warning about an upcoming change of tariffs or terms?
But then the Pudding Taster finds something that is better:
"3.4 U stemt ermee in niet meer dan drie {3} e-mailberichten binnen 24 uur te sturen naar hetzelfde lid zonder eerst van de geadresseerde antwoord of toestemming te hebben gekregen. Stuurt u meer dan 3 e-mailberichten dan beschouwen we [dat] als het lastigvallen van anderen en dat wordt niet getolereerd door Single.nl."
[3.4 You agree not to send more than three {3} e-mail messages within 24 hours to the same member without first having received answer or permission from the adressee. If you send more than 3 e-mail messages than we consider [that] as harassing others and that is not tolerated by Single.nl]
(The [dat] is added by yours truly, it was really missing from the legalese!)
Condition 3.4 sounds like a good idea, despite the grammar mistake. It should save attractive ladies from over-active male suitors. Then, a few points later, it gets interesting again:
"3.7 U stemt ermee in dat voor het gebruik van Single.nl u bereid bent commerciele berichten te ontvangen, echter uitsluitend betreffende activiteiten van Marquet B.V."
[3.7 You agree toat for use of Single.nl you are willing to receive commercial messages, but only concerning activities of Marquet B.V.]
The Pudding Taster has serious reservations regarding this one. He can understand this for a free membership - but the T&C are not only for the free trial membership that he is trying, they are the same terms and conditions to which paying members are subject!
It would have been more dignified if Marquet B.V. offered a newsletter, to which members can opt-in.
All of this comes on top of a clause that allows Marquet B.V., the owners of Single.nl, to do data-mining on their membership. In that respect, it is indeed like Facebook....
The experience itself
Unique on profile sites, it says quite clearly who is a Full Member!
For those uninitiated in the
Profile galleries have free members and paying members (a.k.a. Full Members); but only paying members can send messages. This sounds reasonable, but the catch is that paying members are also the only ones who can respond to a message. So having already paid for meeting people, thee sites now requires that you tempt others to pay... or you're not getting any contact after all.
Single.nl is refreshing in that it lets you know who is also a Full Member. You won't waste time and effort on a person who is never going to pony up the money to respond anyway. It beats the competition hands down on this point!
Also unique, but somewhat confusing, is that you can also look for a roommate in this website.
Preparing the Pudding: filling in one's profile
When filling in the profile, one gets a list of subjects, for which one has to enter where one stands on each subject. The options are "geen belangstelling", "belangstelling" and "expert" ("not interested", "interested" and "expert"). The Pudding Taster finds this rather limited; he knows himself to have a more than average interest in several subjects, but is hardly an expert in most of them.
On top of that, some of the subjects are rather vague. What does it mean to be an expert in "Computing"? Does that mean knowing how to configure wireless internet? Or does it mean hanging out on Hyves, Facebook and Twitter?
There is also a forum, which looks a bit amateurish. The threads indicate when the last message was posted, but they don't add years! So if one finds a message posted on February 14 in January... that message is almost a year old!
(The Pudding Taster wonders if messages on the forums are automatically deleted after a year?)
Also, while the threads give their latest date of activity, the messages themselves aren't dated. Rather a mistake, it would seem - is there a point in responding to a message that was posted 6 months ago?
Pudding Judgment: pending!
Single.nl will not be judged yet. The Pudding Taster has only recently become active on the site and is awaiting the results. It looks grim for Single.nl, but the site has a few good points so yours truly is still giving it a chance.
zondag 23 januari 2011
The Pudding Taster and the Neural Network
A review of paiq.nl
Yours truly, the taster of Cupid's digital puddings, has received an invitation to Paiq.nl - a dating site that uses a neural network to match people.
Using software to match people to each other is hardly a new concept. Nor is it new that you can only contact the people that the computer matched you to; the Pudding Taster believes that eHarmony has worked that way since it started.
Where Paiq differs from other dating services is that it uses a neural network. It is an adaptive matchmaking process, that relies on the feedback of users and tries to automatically incorporate it. In other words, the system learns from it's success or failure - or so the authors say.
How does Brain Pudding taste?
If Paiq were a pudding.... then a bite of Paiq's pudding would seem to have flavor initially, but loose it's taste before being swallowed. Also, the waiter keeps begging for tips, hinting that he might have something better for you.
And now in English:
"A bite has flavor initially"
It's easy to get in touch with people, which is a great advantage over the "profile gallery" dating sites. Instead of being presented with a list of people, just a few matches are presented. If they're online, you can chat with these pre-selected ladies right away. And if nobody is present, you can ask the system to find someone who is. It looks for the highest matching person online, and will invite her to chat with you. Failing that, it simply tries the next best match, and so on. This is the good, flavoured part.
"The bite looses flavor before being swallowed":
The bad part is that you can't see someone's pictures until you've chatted for 15 minutes. There is a certain fairness about this, in that it means you can't judge a person by their looks alone. But when yours truly finally saw the pictures, they really didn't match his taste.
"The waiter keeps begging for tips":
Paiq is free, in the sense that you don't need to pay to talk to someone. But you have to pay for extra services.
Paiq matched me with 2 people initially, and matches me with a new person after several days.
But it will match you any time if you're willing to pay. This is called the TimeCheat. It won't show the pictures of other people until you've chatted with them - but it will show you if you're willing to pay. This is called the PhotoCheat.
And furthermore....
The Pudding Taster is not impressed with the "personality test". It seemed rather superficial, and like most of these tests, it assumes that the participant knows himself/herself well.
And then there is the neural network. It is supposed to learn from the feedback going back into the system, but that feedback seems to be limited to whether or not you stay in touch with someone. The Pudding Taster wonders how the system is supposed to learn from such extremely limited information.
Pudding Judgement: 6 out of 10.
So far, it's a disappointment; better than profile galleries in that you have immediate contact, but that pretty much sums it up. And even that immediate contact comes from the "SpeedDate" system, not from the neural network!
Still, there is potential for this one. There are still several options that the Pudding Taster has not yet tried, so he is not giving up hope yet.
Yours truly, the taster of Cupid's digital puddings, has received an invitation to Paiq.nl - a dating site that uses a neural network to match people.
Using software to match people to each other is hardly a new concept. Nor is it new that you can only contact the people that the computer matched you to; the Pudding Taster believes that eHarmony has worked that way since it started.
Where Paiq differs from other dating services is that it uses a neural network. It is an adaptive matchmaking process, that relies on the feedback of users and tries to automatically incorporate it. In other words, the system learns from it's success or failure - or so the authors say.
How does Brain Pudding taste?
If Paiq were a pudding.... then a bite of Paiq's pudding would seem to have flavor initially, but loose it's taste before being swallowed. Also, the waiter keeps begging for tips, hinting that he might have something better for you.
And now in English:
"A bite has flavor initially"
It's easy to get in touch with people, which is a great advantage over the "profile gallery" dating sites. Instead of being presented with a list of people, just a few matches are presented. If they're online, you can chat with these pre-selected ladies right away. And if nobody is present, you can ask the system to find someone who is. It looks for the highest matching person online, and will invite her to chat with you. Failing that, it simply tries the next best match, and so on. This is the good, flavoured part.
"The bite looses flavor before being swallowed":
The bad part is that you can't see someone's pictures until you've chatted for 15 minutes. There is a certain fairness about this, in that it means you can't judge a person by their looks alone. But when yours truly finally saw the pictures, they really didn't match his taste.
"The waiter keeps begging for tips":
Paiq is free, in the sense that you don't need to pay to talk to someone. But you have to pay for extra services.
Paiq matched me with 2 people initially, and matches me with a new person after several days.
But it will match you any time if you're willing to pay. This is called the TimeCheat. It won't show the pictures of other people until you've chatted with them - but it will show you if you're willing to pay. This is called the PhotoCheat.
And furthermore....
The Pudding Taster is not impressed with the "personality test". It seemed rather superficial, and like most of these tests, it assumes that the participant knows himself/herself well.
And then there is the neural network. It is supposed to learn from the feedback going back into the system, but that feedback seems to be limited to whether or not you stay in touch with someone. The Pudding Taster wonders how the system is supposed to learn from such extremely limited information.
Pudding Judgement: 6 out of 10.
So far, it's a disappointment; better than profile galleries in that you have immediate contact, but that pretty much sums it up. And even that immediate contact comes from the "SpeedDate" system, not from the neural network!
Still, there is potential for this one. There are still several options that the Pudding Taster has not yet tried, so he is not giving up hope yet.
dinsdag 4 januari 2011
Cupid's Pudding
"The proof of the pudding is in the eating".
Four years ago, several people told me I should try online dating. Two of them were female friends; another was an acquaintance who had 2 female friends who had found love online.
In retrospect, I should have noticed that these were all women. But at the time, I figured that meant online dating was finally attracting women as well as men.
Never one to do things half-hearted, I tried two paid services and two free ones. I lost count of the number of women I contacted, but it was a lot.
Result: 4 reactions.
One woman wrote back once, I wrote her back and never heard from her since.
Two women hit the "Sorry, not interested" button.
The last one wrote back to tell me that yes, we did have a lot in common - but she'd just met a great guy on that site.
That last woman had been on that site for less than a *week*.
Only later did I realize why these things happened.
Women on dating sites are a minority. So they get flooded with messages. One of the female friends mentioned earlier told me she got on average 7 (!) messages a day.
Also, dating sites encourage people to make profiles for free - profiles they forget about, but the site can keep them practically forever to show how "many" members they have.
These are a few of the reasons why these dating sites failed to work. I could think of more reasons, but I'm sure they will be discussed in comments and future posts anyway.
So, I had tried online dating. Proof of the pudding is in the eating, and Cupid's online pudding tasted horrible.
But lately, people around me have started to talk about online dating again. I even know a *guy* who met his girlfriend on a dating site, and she's actually a fun girl!
I started thinking about this. Four years is a long time, and things change - especially on the internet. Maybe I should give online dating a second chance?
On the other hand, one definition of foolishness is to try the same thing and expect different results.
So here's the plan: I am going to see what is new in online dating.
I will not waste time on the sites I have already tried; I looked at them again before starting this. Their basic operation is still the same tried-and-disproven technology.
Instead, I will look at the more creative web services for finding Miss Right.
This blog will be a firsthand account of my exploration of innovative dating services.
Let's see if Cupid's recipe for pudding has improved!
Four years ago, several people told me I should try online dating. Two of them were female friends; another was an acquaintance who had 2 female friends who had found love online.
In retrospect, I should have noticed that these were all women. But at the time, I figured that meant online dating was finally attracting women as well as men.
Never one to do things half-hearted, I tried two paid services and two free ones. I lost count of the number of women I contacted, but it was a lot.
Result: 4 reactions.
One woman wrote back once, I wrote her back and never heard from her since.
Two women hit the "Sorry, not interested" button.
The last one wrote back to tell me that yes, we did have a lot in common - but she'd just met a great guy on that site.
That last woman had been on that site for less than a *week*.
Only later did I realize why these things happened.
Women on dating sites are a minority. So they get flooded with messages. One of the female friends mentioned earlier told me she got on average 7 (!) messages a day.
Also, dating sites encourage people to make profiles for free - profiles they forget about, but the site can keep them practically forever to show how "many" members they have.
These are a few of the reasons why these dating sites failed to work. I could think of more reasons, but I'm sure they will be discussed in comments and future posts anyway.
So, I had tried online dating. Proof of the pudding is in the eating, and Cupid's online pudding tasted horrible.
But lately, people around me have started to talk about online dating again. I even know a *guy* who met his girlfriend on a dating site, and she's actually a fun girl!
I started thinking about this. Four years is a long time, and things change - especially on the internet. Maybe I should give online dating a second chance?
On the other hand, one definition of foolishness is to try the same thing and expect different results.
So here's the plan: I am going to see what is new in online dating.
I will not waste time on the sites I have already tried; I looked at them again before starting this. Their basic operation is still the same tried-and-disproven technology.
Instead, I will look at the more creative web services for finding Miss Right.
This blog will be a firsthand account of my exploration of innovative dating services.
Let's see if Cupid's recipe for pudding has improved!
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