How ok is this pudding?

(A review of okCupid.com)

Before I start with today's review, I'd like to let you know that I intend to make this blog a bi-weekly feature. I cannot yet commit to that, because trying out dating sites is a time-consuming exercise. But I will do my best.

Now let's get on with the review. Several people have told me to try okCupid.

I was a bit hesitant about this. Although okCupid is a free site with a reasonable reputation, it was acquired by match.com - a site so appallingly bad that even it's own CEO doesn't use it.
It's also involved in a class action lawsuit for it's number of dead profiles.

But the only guy I know who got his girlfriend from a dating site, met her on okCupid. So maybe, I thought, I should go on okCupid before match.com ruins it with their silly ideas about how a dating site should work?

And so I got on okCupid, which is a "profile gallery" - a set of profiles that you can write to.
It doesn't bother you with a questionnaire or psychological test beforehand - there are more questions and tests than you can shake a stick at, but you can answer them whenever you please. Many of them were not made by okCupid, but by members. Which means that not all the tests and questions are serious.

While okCupid is a profile gallery, it won't let you write to profiles indiscriminately. It selects the profiles it shows you with a matching algorithm. The algorithm bases its choices on how you and other members answered the questions.
But when you start browsing your matches, it also shows you people who are "like" your matches. Generally, there is a sidebar on each profile showing what people are "like" that profile. And you can contact these people too, even if they're not matched to you.
So essentially, it's a profile gallery that pretends to be a matching system.

And then there are some interesting discoveries...

1. okCupid has informed me that I am in the top half of it's most attractive people. And that my matches will now be selected from more attractive people. ...That doesn't explain the profile whose only picture displays a guy. (And not even a handsome guy at that!)

2. Lots of dead profiles.
okCupid has lots of inactive profiles - I've seen profiles whose last activity was dated 2007 and even a few from 2006! Neither can I blame match.com for this - 2007 was long before match.com acquired okCupid.
On the plus side, at least okCupid still lets you know when these profiles were last active. Match.com and lexa.nl simply state "last active over 3 months ago". Back when I was on match.com and lexa.nl, I have written to some of those profiles when I got more desperate adventurous. Now I wonder how old those profiles really were?

3. One-shot contacts.
okCupid tells you beforehand if someone responds "selectively" or "often". This is good, but it doesn't tell you if somebody maintains these contacts. I've got a response rate of 50% and usually positive reactions to my profile. But only one has bothered to reply after the first exchange of messages. So, it's not as frustrating as the average profile gallery, but it's still not much of a way to meet girls!
Also, after you've sent somebody a message, it will tell you when you first contacted this person...instead of the response rate.

4. Free or paid?
okCupid is free... but it bugs you about paid "A-list" memberships. Sometimes it offers you a feature, then when you click on it, it tells you that only "A-list" members get that feature.

5. Matched to what age??
okCupid lets you set the age category you're interested in... and then ignores it. I have been matched to women who stated that the maximum age for their men was 4 years below my age.

Despite all this, I'm actually still positive about okCupid. They should get rid of these old profiles, but at least they show you that these people last logged in 5 years ago, so you don't waste time and effort on messages. (And it conveniently illustrates how big the problem is... something the newspapers never tell you when they advertise discuss online dating).

If okCupid were a pudding...

If okCupid were a pudding, it would be a light dessert, with the obligatory little extra's like sprinkles. Although the taste is good and varied, it is just too airy and light, and leaves you a little hungry at the end of the meal.

And now in English...

So, what does that mean in English? An analysis of the analogy.

"A light dessert, with the obligatory little extra's like sprinkles."

okCupid has a number of features, including games (I haven't tried those yet) and tests, and the users can make tests themselves, too. It cracks the occassional joke - when it asks what languages you speak,one of the possible answers is the computer programming language C++! But unlike klikthet.nl which I discussed earlier, it knows when to stop.

"The taste is good..."

As dating sites go, okCupid is fun. The freeform approach to the questionnaire makes answering the questions something you can do at leisure, rather than an annoying requirement.

"...and varied"

Probably due to it's freeform format, okCupid attracts a lot of non-mainstream daters. I've seen bisexuals, people in open relationships and even a few bdsm enthusiasts. In other words, the population is very varied, from all walks of life.

"It is just too airy and light, and leaves you a little hungry at the end of the meal."

While no dating site has ever gotten me a date, okCupid outdid the rest by almost getting me a date.

Pudding Judgment: 6 out of 10

This site worked for one person I know, and it tries to work for me. I'm even starting to believe that profile galleries aren't such a bad idea after all - it's just that most sites are Doing It Wrong. I'm not so certain that okCupid is Doing It Right, but at least it's on the way. I'll be keeping my profile on this one.